Frank

Let me be frank with you.

Marriage is one of the hardest things I have ever done.

It is also the most rewarding.

I can't see my life without my husband in it.

But with that being said there are times when things are rough 

and I just have to cry.

It's hard being married at 21. It was even harder being married at 19.

There are times when I mourn for the days of being single and carefree with my friends.

There are times when I just want to be back in New York living with my family.

But then I realize there was no Sam in those moments. 

There was no man that loved me to the deepest levels of my soul.

And whom I love just the same.

Sometimes I think people, especially younger married people in the Mormon community, make marriage out to be a walk in the park.

And honestly sometimes it is. But sometimes there are moments when I just want to scream at my husband.

Sometimes there are moments when I wonder was I truly ready for this. 

Sometimes I am one of those people that make marriage out to be a walk in the park. 

My go to response when people ask me how married life is treating me is to tell them that it is fun.

Sometimes it's so fun to get to spend every day with Sam.

But sometimes it's not so fun.

Some days I just need my own friends and time away from Sam.

I think the biggest difficulty that Sam and I have had in our marriage, apart from living with his parents the first four months (which I would not recommend to anyone), is not having our own friends.

Our own things to do and time away from each other.

Sometimes all I need is just time away from Sam. 

Since we have moved schools and came to ISU, 

we have both had difficulty coming into our own.

It's great to have Sam to go through all of this with, 

but to be frank, I just need some girlfriends! to chat about anything and everything with.

Sometimes I get that with my friends that are at BYU-I. 

And I thirst for more of those moments.

And sometimes I need my family.

The ones that have seen me at my weakest moments and been there for me always.

It is a very hard thing to be the one in a marriage where it's your family that lives far away.

It's incredibly difficult for me at times to only see my family once a year.

I grew up with my ENTIRE family a thirty drive from me.

Now they are all 2000+ miles away.

I'm not saying that I don't like/love my in-laws.

I couldn't have married into a better family.

I constantly laugh because of them and they bring serious joy to my life.

But since I am being frank, Alan is not my dad.

And I love my dad more than words could describe. 

I miss him more than I could ever write.

Alan is an amazing father-in-law and I get to do things with him that I would never do with my own father, which is just awesome.

And Sydney is seriously the best mother-in-law ever.

She is my Momma Syd.

I love her.

I don't have a relationship with my own mother, so she is my mom.

She fills a void in my life. as cheesy as that sounds.

But back to this marriage thing.

It is hard.

It requires a lot of work.

I have cried more times than I would like to admit.

But my marriage is the best thing that I ever happened to me.

Sam was the best decision I ever made.

I love him more than anything in the entire world.

I wouldn't trade this life for anything.

It isn't always an easy life, but sometimes it is the best life ever.

Until next time!

Weekend Review

This was a odd weekend compared to the ones that I normally have.

I braced myself all week with the knowledge that we wouldn't get to leave the dreadful city of Pocatello.

So when Friday finally came it wasn't the most awful feeling in the world.

We had to stay here this weekend because Sam and I both had our interviews.

Sam's was Friday and he think that it went pretty well.

They send out acceptance letter March 29 and 30.

My interview was Saturday. Everything went pretty well.

They had us take a reasoning test which was super lame.

One of the questions was like this:

An ID badge or guest pass is required to get in the maternity ward.

What does this mean?

A) If you are in the ward you have to have an ID badge.

B) If you are in the ward you may have a guest pass.

C) If are were not allowed in the ward you did not have a guest pass.

And blah blah blah

It was slightly ridiculous.

But I did it and got it done.

I should hear whether I am accepted by April 1.

Hopefully we will both get in and be one step closer to finishing.

After my interview, the weather was absolutely beautiful.

So we went and got some frozen yogurt.

Then Sam's parents came down to take us out to dinner.

We went to the Red Lobster. 

It was delicious as usual!

We all love seafood, so the Red Lobster was a no brainer.

Did you guys do anything fun this weekend??

Let me know!

Seriously!

Until next time!

Busy

This week is going to be super busy for me.

I have two tests on Friday, and anatomy lab quiz on Thursday, I need to write a 1600 word paper by Monday and study for my anatomy test Monday morning.

It kind of doesn't seem like a lot, but it is something for all of my classes.

And the fact that we go up to Sam's parent's house every weekend, doesn't leave me a lot of room to study over the weekend for my test Monday. 

You are probably thinking that we shouldn't go to his parent's this weekend, but it is the only thing that gets me through each week.

It is seriously like a mini vacation.

I love it.

And hate going home every Sunday.

Wish me luck with getting everything done that I need to this week.

Until next time!

Bowling

The first time I spent any real time with Sam's family was Thanksgiving 2009 and we went bowling. And I mean bowling.

As in we bowled like 8 games in two days. Back then, that was a 

whole heck of a lot of games. 

The tip of my middle finger literally went numb. For like a month.

But now a days I am well trained and can easily bowl four games.

My last game might be awful. 

And I might literally be chucking my ball down the lane. 

But at least I still have feeling in my fingers.

Over break we went bowling a few times. 

And I FINALLY got some photos.

(I always feel weird taking pictures in front of Sam's parents)

Well here they are! 

They are pretty much all of Sam. Because he doesn't know how to take pictures. I told him that if people looked at our pictures some time, they wouldn't even know I existed. Pathetic.

So I told him his New Year's goal is to be better at documenting our life.

We will see how well he does.

Until next time!

My Day.

Today was one of those lazy days that was beautiful. 

Sam and I originally planned on going skiing.

But we woke up at 8:00, checked the weather and the high was going to be like 25 degrees, which isn't bad, but the wind

was going to be around 29 MPH up to 44 MPH. 

So we nixed that plan and fell back asleep.

We woke up for the second time at 11. Sam went downstairs, while I stayed in bed and watched Sex and the City. 

Then Momma Syd did a little knock knock knock at the door and said that

we were going on a little pony ride. 

I got up took a quick shower and then hopped on my pony. 

I just about had a heart attack. Now folks I have ridden horses before, but sometimes the fact that there is a half ton animal between my legs and it could kill me or seriously harm me, gets to me and I get a bit more

freaked out. Now the horses that Sam's parents own aren't the typical horse that you are imagining. They are called Norwegian Fjords. (These are my in-laws actual horses. The link is to the actual horse I rode today. Pronounce like echo)

They are cute little buggers and generally very calm. 

But like I said I still get scared. The one I ride is pretty chunky. She is on a strict  diet and in what we call "The Fat Girl" pen. 

Ekko wouldn't exert anymore energy than required.

Anyways. After said pony ride. We loaded, more like I watched, a bunch of 

stuff in the truck to take to the D.I. 

Then we went out to eat. Were planning on going bowling, but it was league night, so here I am at home, with no other plans that to watch some more Sex and the City. 

Do you guys have any fun New Years plans??

I'm going to party with some friends from New York that are in Rexburg for school. I can't even wait!!

Until next time!